“It looks as if your zipper is down.” “Please consider buttoning up your blouse a little more.”

If a co-worker told you that to your face, would you be embarrassed? Would you prefer to have gotten back to your desk to see an anonymous message pop up instead?

“You seem to have over-applied your make-up today.” “We can see when you are surfing the Internet to non-work related sites.”

That’s the thought behind NiceCritic.com, which allows you to politely and secretly get your message across. And of course, there are some critics of NiceCritic’s pre-written messages.

Meet NiceCritic: Bearer of the unpleasant truth
By Laura Yao
The Washington Post

A couple of months ago, my friend was walking down the street when a raggedly dressed man coming toward her stopped, circled around and tapped her on the shoulder.

“Yes?” she inquired.

“You got a big butt and an ugly face!” he said. Message delivered, he turned and wandered off.

Unlike Raggedy Man, many of us are reluctant to offer criticism face to face. So for those of us who don’t have the “courage” to personally warn neighbors and co-workers of their flaws, there’s NiceCritic.com.

NiceCritic has a cache of pre-written messages that can be sent to your target with the click of a mouse. And, good news for those who are judgmental but timid — it’s anonymous. Messages are sorted into categories such as “Personal Hygiene” and “Neighborly Suggestion.” There’s also an “Anonymous Praise” category. (The site only addresses problems with quick fixes, though — like stained pants or bad breath — so issues of butt size and attractiveness will still have to be dealt with in person.)

The messages are courteous — in the language a British butler would use, the site’s founder Erik Riesenberg says — to dull the embarrassment that the recipient no doubt feels.

Such as: “Please do not remove your shoes. Your feet tend to give off an aroma.”

And: “Please refrain from slapping people’s buttocks.”

Riesenberg, a 38-year-old from Weehawken, N.J., was inspired when a friend told him, “You could really use a trim of the nose hair.” The encounter left the woman more embarrassed than he was. “I had this idea that there’s got to be a better way to facilitate that kind of communication,” Riesenberg says.

But on the Internet, any dialogue can quickly sour. Despite Riesenberg’s good intentions, what he’s created is, in essence, a stockpile of politely worded insults. As Peter Post — grandson of the great Emily — puts it, “How would you feel if you got one of these in your inbox?”

One academic study has shown that people correctly interpret the intended tone of an e-mail only about 50 percent of the time.

Justin Kruger, a professor of marketing at New York University who co-authored the study in 2006, says NiceCritic is a bit like teasing. “Good intentions are often much less obvious to the other person than the teaser thinks,” Kruger says. “Even well-meaning individuals can be expected to have their well-meaning attempts go awry.”

Teasing can also be passive-aggressive behavior. The polite tone of NiceCritic, Kruger says, “makes us feel better but doesn’t exonerate negative content as much as the people on the other end think it ought to.”

Riesenberg thinks that not allowing readers to compose their own messages will prevent flaming. “There have been other sites like this but that let you write in messages,” Riesenberg says. “It usually turns into something negative; people use vulgarity or profanity.”

Still, there’s one thing that can be said for taking the easy way out, and that thing is: People love it. Launched in early July, NiceCritic has drawn more than 100,000 visitors. Riesenberg estimates that about 80 percent of them actually send messages.

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Would you send any of those messages using NiceCritic? I did a test. This is what the recipient would receive:

How do you handle awkward moments at work: Food between someone’s teeth, something hanging out of someone’s nose, undergarments peeking out and the like?

In terms of hygiene issues, do you rather just always avoid the obvious and hope someone else says something?

Many of the messages on NiceCritic are, as the story says, in a language that a British butler would use. Can you think of a more local way to politely get your point across?

—–

And speaking of anonymity, another Bee Bee Dee was kind enough to send some sweets to the office for me. Strawberry shortcake and a lemon bar from Kakaako Kitchen plus a tray of manju from Nisshodo Mochiya. Wow, all my favorite desserts! Ain’t I just getting lucky? Here are the pictures… I wonder how many calories these all add up to. Oh boy!

Strawberry shortcake with lots of whip cream. I loved the sponge cake part the best!

The best lemon bar I’ve had so far! It’s perfectly tart and topped with powdered sugar.

Ooh, another of my favorites! Manju with azuki beans. So I finally got the manju!

Don’t you just love looking at movie stars? Especially the perfectly groomed ones with the nice eyes, the right-size nose and full lips? Envious?

Well, next time think about how many of them underwent plastic surgery. Either that or makeup and style can do wonders. Or the stars can credit camera angles and the right lighting.

But, for folks who have always wanted those Angelina Jolie-type lips, a new option is now available and I’m sure it won’t come cheap…

Love my lips? Can you tell they’re fake?
By Monica Corcoran
Los Angeles Times

Hey, breast augmentation. Meet the lip implant. A new procedure called FulFil Lip from California-based Evera Medical, has just been approved for testing by the FDA. Much like a breast implant, the FulFil Lip is a balloon that can be filled with saline and then inserted into the lip. A micro-valve prevents any fluid from leaking. Now, that could be embarrassing during a first kiss.

Outside the U.S., the company already markets VeraFil, a saline implant that plumps skin around the eye.

Right now, there are myriad ways to inflate your pucker — from injecting collagen from a dead person to grafting fat from your caboose. And Surgisis, an implant derived from the intestines of pigs, is on the horizon too. Oh, how to choose? Not to mention, can we conscript those scientists fiddling with pig guts to take a stab at a cure for the common cold?

As for the new lip implant, you get to pick your size, though the company has not yet released a size chart. Are double D lips next? No doubt, super pouts are here to stay. Since 2000, there has been a 27 percent increase in lip augmentation, according to the American Society of Plastic Surgeons.

Angelina Jolie’s lips are the most requested. (Associated Press file photo)

Oh, and it is no surprise that a study by the Beverly Hills Institute of Aesthetic & Reconstructive Surgery revealed that Angelina Jolie’s lips top the most requested list among patients.
—–

What are your thoughts on lip or other implants? Have Americans gone overboard with cosmetic surgery?

What do you predict will be the next body part people will want to enhance? And what material would best be suited to do the job? Pig guts or fat from your butt, which seems to already be in the works?

Do you care what people do to make themselves beautiful as long as the end result is pleasing? Are you prejudiced against folks who have had cosmetic work done?

Want to share any beauty secrets? Or better yet, what are some of your ODD grooming habits?

Four-and-a-half months left until Christmas! In a couple of months, you’ll start seeing Christmas decorations and holiday sales! Ever notice how Christmas stuff is out before Halloween is even over? I guess it’s a marketing scheme to get us to buy more.

Speaking of which, I actually got a telemarketer call (even though I am on the do-not-call list) the other night. A guy wanted to know if I was interested in buying a Christmas wreath as part of his organization’s holiday drive!! Just a heads up in case you get the same call… I told him I wasn’t even thinking about Christmas yet when he asked if I knew of anyone else who might want a wreath. Long story short, he said he’d gladly call back when it gets closer to the holidays…

Well, Christmas is more associated with gifts than it is decorations (if you consider what folks tend to get stressed out about). Some people like to get an early start, others shop year round and store their gifts until the appropriate occasion and many even wait till the day before to find their loved ones a gift.

Finding the perfect gift is hard, but it doesn’t take a genius to know not to send certain kind of gifts. Like maybe a pig’s head. Yup, according to a story on UPI, that’s what one man did and now he’s in trouble with the law:

LONDON — A London court has found a man guilty of sending a pig’s head disguised as a birthday present to his ex-girlfriend’s sister-in-law.

The Kingston Crown Court jury found Martin Anderson, 44, guilty of masterminding a hate campaign against Kim Teague that left the woman fearing violence, The Sun reported Monday.

Judge Stephen Bellamy set sentencing for Sept. 5.

“Obviously all options as to sentencing will be kept open,” he told Anderson after the guilty verdict was announced.

Teague had told the court she received a gift-wrapped package that contained the severed head of a pig with the letters “RIP” written on its forehead. She said she also received anonymous phone calls from someone who made pig noises over the line.

—–

So ruling out gifts that could be considered a “hate campaign,” what were some of the best gag gifts you ever gave or have received?

In terms of those “junk Christmas gifts that your grandmother gave you,” care to share what any of those were? What about some ODD gifts — perhaps a gift that maybe wasn’t meant for you in the first place?

Do you regift, return when possible or just give away to charity if you don’t like the gift? Ever tell a person that you didn’t like it?

Who is the hardest person to shop for in your life?

Aren’t you just thoroughly fascinated by Hawaii’s weather reports? I bet all those folks who decided to wash their car only to have it rain as soon as they were done didn’t get the memo: isolated showers are in the forecast.

If you know it’s going to be 87 or 89 degrees tomorrow, you can decide tonight whether to wear the lightweight shirt or perhaps go with the polo. Yippee for you!

But more on this must-know Island weather in a bit. We gotta give our TV weather guys credit. They have that blank blue or green screen they are pointing at while all these fancy and informative graphics pop up on our televisions. Some of them even do live shots to showcase the extreme weather — which is rare in Hawaii, of course.

What is also rare is a snake crawling up your pants during a live shot. According to UPI, that’s what happened to one man. I even found a corresponding video since the story doesn’t do it justice…

DES MOINES, Iowa — A meteorologist broadcasting live from the Iowa State Fair predicted his appearance would wind up on YouTube when a friendly snake slithered up his pants.

Kurtis Gertz, a meteorologist with KCCI-TV in Des Moines, was performing a live broadcast from the fair Thursday alongside a python trainer who allowed the weatherman to wear the snake on his shoulders.

The Burmese python first stuck out its tongue to give Gertz a kiss.

“Hey, that was a hot, wet kiss,” Gertz said. “I got a hunch this is going to make YouTube.”

Gertz said he did not realize until bystanders began gasping and pointing that the snake’s tail had slithered up one of his pant legs and out the other, KCCI-TV reported Monday.

“This is Dawn and she might have a crush on you,” the snake’s trainer, who gave his name as Nick, told Gertz.

“This is how it all comes to an end Steve, this is how it all comes to an end,” Gertz joked. “It’s been a great 20 years in television, God bless.

“OK, let’s go to stupid human tricks. Let’s see you top this one.”
—–
What other ODD things have you seen during live TV shots? Anyone remember some on-air mistakes?

And back to the weather forecast on Hawaii newscasts. Does anyone else think that we spend a bit too much time on weather? Does light and variable winds with isolated showers tell you much? Do we really need a five-day forecast if there’s only a range of two degrees? Obviously if there’s a storm coming or it is raining unusually hard (a big deal in Hawaii!), we want to know details. But if it’s just another sunny day in paradise, is that even news?

I was just alerted to this hilarious video of some comedic dog poking fun at our weather segment. It’s an old video, but definitely appropriate to the topic!

So… how’s the weather on your side of the island?

Sometimes there are just no ODD stories I can find on the wire that I anticipate could be a talker. So I have to scrounge around various sources to find something that I think we can make a conversation out of.

Today is one of those days (well, truthfully I’m just coming off my weekend so this was prepped in advance) so I found our Dear Annie column that is published in today’s Island Life. ODDLY enough, the only other time I used that column for this post it was on a bathroom situation. Though we all know the conversation has strayed to that topic quite often recently. Hmmm…

Dear Annie: I have a close friend who visits a few times a year. He likes to take the morning newspaper into the bathroom before I have had a chance to read it.

Needless to say, I do not want to handle the paper after he’s finished with it. Is there a polite way of telling my friend not to read it on the toilet?

— Not Appealing Now

Dear Not Appealing: You have several choices: You can tell your friend to please not take the paper out of the kitchen before you’ve read it. You can buy an extra paper on those days when he visits. You can get up early enough to read it first. You can stock the bathroom with interesting magazines. You can tell him point-blank that you don’t like handling the paper after it’s been in the bathroom. Pick one.

—–

First off, I know this is a very common practice. Many homes have a stack of magazines nearby the toilet. BUT, what do you think of Not Appealing Now’s concerns? I’m assuming that most people who read magazines, etc. while on the toilet drop the magazine BEFORE needing to reach for the toilet paper. Is that right?

Do you pick up any reading material while using the toilet at someone else’s house? Does the germ factor cross your mind?

And the more fun question, what ODD magazines have you seen collecting dust (or maybe not) near your friends’ toilets?

Dump your answers on me!

Oh wait, before you do… there are some photos I promised you! Not that food pictures go well with the topic at hand, but I know you all want to see that manju that’s actually really mochi. And I know the O&E crowd can look at yummy pics while discussing throne-reading material. Thanks again, to top Bee Bee Dee Ynaku for the sweets!

From left, me, Ynaku, MLC and BL at The Advertiser. Mmm, mochi for all!

Wow, look at the pretty colors and variety!

Strawberry mochi! How come one is missing? That’s the one Queenie popped in her mouth. Oops…