Yes, we live in an unsafe world. It is theoretically likely (though the ODDS may not be high) that you could get injured by a wayward bullet, a falling airplane part or some random weapon by a frantic robber.

How do you stay safe on America’s streets while still looking fashionably good? You can’t walk around in Army gear all day because you never know when you might get an invitation to some hoity-toity event.

Well, there may be a solution for those who want to look stylish while still being able to withstand fire from an Uzi machine gun. Just got to head overseas first to buy what the paranoid super-rich are clamoring for. Oh yeah, and it’s gonna cost you. This is according to a story on UPI, which is reporting that bulletproof designer fashion is now available through Britain’s best-known retailer:

Harrods is now carrying a Colombian entrepreneur’s line of luxury “ballistic daywear” for customers fearing personal attack. Included among those wanting the clothes are King Abdullah II of Jordan, Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez, Colombian President Alvaro Uribe and actor Steven Segal, The Daily Telegraph reported Saturday.

The customized clothing line includes a polo shirt, a blazer, a sports jacket, a biker jacket and a raincoat with prices ranging between $6,500 and $15,400. It is described as being wearable at parties even while tough enough to withstand fire from an Uzi machine gun.

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Designer Miguel Caballero even “tests” the clothes’ durability on his employees — by shooting them! (I found a video but unfortunately for some reason it is not loading properly [no pun intended!] into this story…)

So does bulletproof fashion go overboard or is it always better to be safe than sorry? Would you have a need for such an ensemble in your daily life? In an unrelated fashion story, reported on UPI, the largest teachers union in Britain has criticized a manufacturer of school uniforms for marketing a blazer designed to help students hide iPods:

Chris Keates, general secretary of the National Association of Schoolmasters Union of Women Teachers, described Marks & Spencer’s “Blazer for iPod,” which is part of the clothing manufacturer’s 2008 Back to School collection, as “unnecessary and an error of judgment.”

The blazer, which is available in both male and female styles, features an inside pocket for hidden electronic devices and hidden built-in controls compatible with iPods. The jacket also features lapels designed to conceal earphone wires.

“Teachers are already battling against the misuse of such technology in classrooms. Pupils nowadays come to school equipped with mobile phones, MP3 players, and portable games consoles when teachers would like them to just bring a pen,” Keates said. “In its place this technology is useful, entertaining and perfectly legitimate for youngsters but its place is not for personal use in classrooms.”
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At least it sounds like those blazers would make it less likely students would lose their iPods…

What kind of gadgets do you wish you could fashionably attach to your outfits? Regarding your cell phone, are you one of those who stick it in your pocket or clip it on your pants? Ladies: Are you one of those who can never retrieve your phone in time because it’s lost somewhere in your purse?

Ever get annoyed by impractical designs? Pretend pockets? Too tiny buttons (to do and undo)? Complicated bows that practically leaves you playing Twister just to tie?

Any ODD fashions (besides those you see on a runway) you’ve seen worn around town? What were your favorite fashions back in the day? Bell-bottoms or Z Cavaricci pants perhaps? Or maybe popped collars for the men and ruffles for the ladies? Anyone remember baby doll dresses and clogs?

“It looks as if your zipper is down.” “Please consider buttoning up your blouse a little more.”

If a co-worker told you that to your face, would you be embarrassed? Would you prefer to have gotten back to your desk to see an anonymous message pop up instead?

“You seem to have over-applied your make-up today.” “We can see when you are surfing the Internet to non-work related sites.”

That’s the thought behind NiceCritic.com, which allows you to politely and secretly get your message across. And of course, there are some critics of NiceCritic’s pre-written messages.

Meet NiceCritic: Bearer of the unpleasant truth
By Laura Yao
The Washington Post

A couple of months ago, my friend was walking down the street when a raggedly dressed man coming toward her stopped, circled around and tapped her on the shoulder.

“Yes?” she inquired.

“You got a big butt and an ugly face!” he said. Message delivered, he turned and wandered off.

Unlike Raggedy Man, many of us are reluctant to offer criticism face to face. So for those of us who don’t have the “courage” to personally warn neighbors and co-workers of their flaws, there’s NiceCritic.com.

NiceCritic has a cache of pre-written messages that can be sent to your target with the click of a mouse. And, good news for those who are judgmental but timid — it’s anonymous. Messages are sorted into categories such as “Personal Hygiene” and “Neighborly Suggestion.” There’s also an “Anonymous Praise” category. (The site only addresses problems with quick fixes, though — like stained pants or bad breath — so issues of butt size and attractiveness will still have to be dealt with in person.)

The messages are courteous — in the language a British butler would use, the site’s founder Erik Riesenberg says — to dull the embarrassment that the recipient no doubt feels.

Such as: “Please do not remove your shoes. Your feet tend to give off an aroma.”

And: “Please refrain from slapping people’s buttocks.”

Riesenberg, a 38-year-old from Weehawken, N.J., was inspired when a friend told him, “You could really use a trim of the nose hair.” The encounter left the woman more embarrassed than he was. “I had this idea that there’s got to be a better way to facilitate that kind of communication,” Riesenberg says.

But on the Internet, any dialogue can quickly sour. Despite Riesenberg’s good intentions, what he’s created is, in essence, a stockpile of politely worded insults. As Peter Post — grandson of the great Emily — puts it, “How would you feel if you got one of these in your inbox?”

One academic study has shown that people correctly interpret the intended tone of an e-mail only about 50 percent of the time.

Justin Kruger, a professor of marketing at New York University who co-authored the study in 2006, says NiceCritic is a bit like teasing. “Good intentions are often much less obvious to the other person than the teaser thinks,” Kruger says. “Even well-meaning individuals can be expected to have their well-meaning attempts go awry.”

Teasing can also be passive-aggressive behavior. The polite tone of NiceCritic, Kruger says, “makes us feel better but doesn’t exonerate negative content as much as the people on the other end think it ought to.”

Riesenberg thinks that not allowing readers to compose their own messages will prevent flaming. “There have been other sites like this but that let you write in messages,” Riesenberg says. “It usually turns into something negative; people use vulgarity or profanity.”

Still, there’s one thing that can be said for taking the easy way out, and that thing is: People love it. Launched in early July, NiceCritic has drawn more than 100,000 visitors. Riesenberg estimates that about 80 percent of them actually send messages.

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Would you send any of those messages using NiceCritic? I did a test. This is what the recipient would receive:

How do you handle awkward moments at work: Food between someone’s teeth, something hanging out of someone’s nose, undergarments peeking out and the like?

In terms of hygiene issues, do you rather just always avoid the obvious and hope someone else says something?

Many of the messages on NiceCritic are, as the story says, in a language that a British butler would use. Can you think of a more local way to politely get your point across?

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And speaking of anonymity, another Bee Bee Dee was kind enough to send some sweets to the office for me. Strawberry shortcake and a lemon bar from Kakaako Kitchen plus a tray of manju from Nisshodo Mochiya. Wow, all my favorite desserts! Ain’t I just getting lucky? Here are the pictures… I wonder how many calories these all add up to. Oh boy!

Strawberry shortcake with lots of whip cream. I loved the sponge cake part the best!

The best lemon bar I’ve had so far! It’s perfectly tart and topped with powdered sugar.

Ooh, another of my favorites! Manju with azuki beans. So I finally got the manju!

Don’t you just love looking at movie stars? Especially the perfectly groomed ones with the nice eyes, the right-size nose and full lips? Envious?

Well, next time think about how many of them underwent plastic surgery. Either that or makeup and style can do wonders. Or the stars can credit camera angles and the right lighting.

But, for folks who have always wanted those Angelina Jolie-type lips, a new option is now available and I’m sure it won’t come cheap…

Love my lips? Can you tell they’re fake?
By Monica Corcoran
Los Angeles Times

Hey, breast augmentation. Meet the lip implant. A new procedure called FulFil Lip from California-based Evera Medical, has just been approved for testing by the FDA. Much like a breast implant, the FulFil Lip is a balloon that can be filled with saline and then inserted into the lip. A micro-valve prevents any fluid from leaking. Now, that could be embarrassing during a first kiss.

Outside the U.S., the company already markets VeraFil, a saline implant that plumps skin around the eye.

Right now, there are myriad ways to inflate your pucker — from injecting collagen from a dead person to grafting fat from your caboose. And Surgisis, an implant derived from the intestines of pigs, is on the horizon too. Oh, how to choose? Not to mention, can we conscript those scientists fiddling with pig guts to take a stab at a cure for the common cold?

As for the new lip implant, you get to pick your size, though the company has not yet released a size chart. Are double D lips next? No doubt, super pouts are here to stay. Since 2000, there has been a 27 percent increase in lip augmentation, according to the American Society of Plastic Surgeons.

Angelina Jolie’s lips are the most requested. (Associated Press file photo)

Oh, and it is no surprise that a study by the Beverly Hills Institute of Aesthetic & Reconstructive Surgery revealed that Angelina Jolie’s lips top the most requested list among patients.
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What are your thoughts on lip or other implants? Have Americans gone overboard with cosmetic surgery?

What do you predict will be the next body part people will want to enhance? And what material would best be suited to do the job? Pig guts or fat from your butt, which seems to already be in the works?

Do you care what people do to make themselves beautiful as long as the end result is pleasing? Are you prejudiced against folks who have had cosmetic work done?

Want to share any beauty secrets? Or better yet, what are some of your ODD grooming habits?

In these tough economic times, business is down so many need to find creative ways to drive up sales. What are some good ways to do that without breaking the bank? How about some eye-catching words to advertise your service?

Would a car-washing business promising the best “hand job” in town lure you to get your pride and joy clean? Well, that’s what one business was hoping for though the sexy advertising didn’t last very long, according to this story reported on UPI:

ELGIN, Ill. — An Elgin, Ill., car wash owner said the city asked her to take down a message on her sidewalk marquee that promised the best “hand job” in town.

Judith Colletti, owner of the Elgin Car Wash, said an Elgin code enforcement officer visited Monday and asked her to take down the sign, which she said was merely a humorous play on words based on the business’ model of having employees wash cars by hand, the Daily Herald newspaper in Arlington Heights, Ill., reported Wednesday.

“People laugh about it. They think it’s a joke,” she said. “In this economy, the way things are today, you have to think outside the box. It’s a play on words. It was never meant to insult anybody.”

Colletti said she changed the sign Tuesday evening but the decision was only part of her regular routine and not a result of the city’s request.

Elgin spokeswoman Susan Olafson said that while the sign didn’t violate any laws, city officials were concerned after residents complained.

“We merely suggested she reconsider her language,” Olafson told the Daily Herald. “We fully support her First Amendment rights but there’s a greater issue here. Is this the language that can be used to best promote her car wash? She’s using a double entendre that could leave a negative impression of her business and the city.”

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In the spirit of helping out these struggling businesses, what are some great advertising slogans you can think of that can pass the G-rated test? Think on the scale of Super Bowl catchphrases.

I’ve always been a fan of those witty phrases you see posted in old-style lettering on building marquees … ODDS and ENDS stuff that get you thinking about life and what not. That one building (I believe it’s the Hawaiian Rent-All) on the corner of Beretania and McCully is known for that. Anyone remember some of those phrases?

What ODD signs have you seen around town, whether they are directional signs, advertisings or even clever business names?

So you missed a call from someone you didn’t really want to talk to anyway. Dreading that courtesy return call? Wonder if you’ll have a hard time coming up with a legit excuse?

Here’s an option for all you selective callers. Some providers may already have a similar feature because I remember someone previously mentioning how there’s an option to just go directly to voice mail.

However, this new voice mail service should work for all cell phones and carriers. I made sure to give the story its proper editing and even called the number to make sure it works. It does. The catch? You’re forced to listen to a short advertising promo, which ODDLY enough is about the length of rings before it would normally hit voice mail. But hey, at least you’re guaranteed no one will answer!

Here’s the story, as reported on UPI:

NEW YORK — At least 200,000 people have used a new phone service that allows callers to avoid conversations by linking them immediately to voice mail, sales data shows.

The voice mail service, called Slydial, allows users to call people from cell phones without having to actually speak to them, The New York Times reported.

Slydial user Alexis Gorman, 26, of New York said she thinks the technology provides women with an easy way to break off unwanted romantic relationships.

“If it’s some jerk I went out on a couple of dates with, I can do without that drama,” she said. “Text messaging someone ‘I would prefer not to see you again’ is really not my style.”

Some technology experts say Slydial is part of a larger trend that shows users moving away from face-to-face communication.

How do you slydial?

1. Dial 267-SLYDIAL (267-759-3425) from any landline or mobile phone.
2. At the voice prompt, enter the U.S. mobile phone number of the person you want to slydial.
3. You will be directly connected to their voice mail. Leave them a voice mail, sit back and relax.

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Is this a service you’re likely to use in the future? How often do you find yourself wanting to avoid certain calls?

What are some of the best excuses you’ve given as a reason why you didn’t return a call? And what are some good reasons to give on why you need to end a call?

In terms of your preferred communication style, do you like phone calls, e-mails or text messages?

And on a happier note, what are the best kind of phone calls you like to receive? Thinking-of-you calls? Perhaps your boss calling to say you got the day off? A telemarketer saying you actually did win a free trip?