Putting the thong to work
June 1st, 2008 by ShaunaIF you were going to rob a convenience store and PLAN to hide your face, what would be the mask of your choice? Surely not a thong, right? Uh, we can still see you… I wonder where these pair of robbers even got the thong from!
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Police hunt for robbers wearing thongs as masks
Associated Press
ARVADA, Colo. — Police in a Colorado town are searching for two robbers whose masks showed plenty of fashion sense but little modesty: women’s thong underwear.
A surveillance video released this week by police in Arvada, Colo., shows two unarmed men inside the convenience store. They stole an undisclosed amount of cash and cigarettes in the robbery May 16.
One man wore a green thong and the other wore blue. Each thong barely covered the man’s nose, mouth and chin and left the rest of his face exposed. One also wore a pink backpack in which he stuffed the stolen items.
Police are looking for the two men they say covered their faces with women’s thongs to rob a convenience store in Arvada, Colo.
The suspects also wore T-shirts and pants and were described as in their 20s. One had a left-arm tattoo.
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In unrelated news, good thing you don’t live in Illinois. If you thought avoiding potholes were bad enough, try swerving around roadkill. But officials say not to worry — it may be smelly but it shouldn’t lead to any health risks…
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Illinois DOT plans to leave more roadkill behind
Associated Press
CARBONDALE, Ill. — The view along Illinois highways this summer should be beautiful — for the turkey vultures.
The state’s transportation department says it won’t be picking up as much roadkill left along roads because it spent too much of its budget during the winter.
IDOT says it spent more than twice the allotted $40 million on clearing ice and snow removal because of rising fuel costs and harsh weather last winter.
Dead animals in driving lanes and any deemed hazardous to motorists will be removed. But much of the rest will be left for scavengers.
Kevin Gillespie of the Jackson County Health Department says the roadkill might be smelly and gruesome, but it shouldn’t lead to any health risks.
The department does not log the amount of roadkill it clears.
Tags: convenience store, highways, mask, roadkill, robbers, thongs
June 1st, 2008 at 6:16 pm
Talk about smelly! Are those thongs used? Both stories are funny and great reading. The road kill one I had to re-read IDOT. I thought is was “idiot” and I guess the people in Illinois would say “No difference.”
June 1st, 2008 at 6:24 pm
Notice. A common denominator in both the intended and illegal use of the thong, the cheeks are exposed.
June 1st, 2008 at 7:26 pm
Maybe that’s what the robbers thought they were supposed to do if they had to use it! It would serve them right if they weren’t washed. Eww! Hah!
Didn’t think about the idiotic IDOT. Clever!
June 1st, 2008 at 8:10 pm
Shauna, this thong story has too many jokes built in. Can’t you imagine the guy with the blue thong asking the one with the green thong (great spring and summer colors by the way), “Does this make my face look fat?”
June 1st, 2008 at 9:16 pm
Okay, just a couple more before I call it a night. Two “thongs” never make a right. They probably grew up hanging around the “thong” crowd.
June 1st, 2008 at 9:42 pm
Hmmm… you seem to be having too much fun with the thong jokes!
In terms of the complementary color thing, maybe they were doing that for the surveillance camera photo-op! Don’t know what’s going on with the pink backpack though.
I hope BananaFish reads this post and comes up with a script for the “does this make my face look fat” discussion during the robbery!
June 1st, 2008 at 10:51 pm
The two guys reminds me of the comedy duo: Cheech Marin and Tommy Thong.
June 1st, 2008 at 11:25 pm
I can’t believe how stupid those guys are… It never ceases to amaze me…
June 2nd, 2008 at 9:23 am
Ho boy, pressure for write a story again!
Seems like a set-up for a punch line.
What did the green thong burglar say to the blue thong burglar?
*sniff* “Hey, since when did 7-11 start carrying fish?”
sorry, sorry, I just *had* to though. You KNOW all the guys were going there.
No mention of the even dumber driver, who was waiting in the car, with the thong on backwards.
“Eh, which one of you wen step on doo-doo before you came in my car? Stay all stink now!”
June 2nd, 2008 at 10:04 am
@Teejay
hehe, I read IDOT as “IDiOT” too.
Wow, those were some thong-tasic puns. The “Does this make my face look fat?” line is gold.
So after the robbery, do they bust out a little “thong” and dance?
@Rodney
Not supposed to be “Cheek and Thong?”
Okay, nuff for me.
June 2nd, 2008 at 5:10 pm
Snort, snort!
Thanks, BananaFish, for obliging!
June 4th, 2008 at 10:39 am
hahaha, talking about the “used” thongs made me think of that scene in “employee of the month” when the two guys decide to break into dane cook’s house and they ended up using those used panyhoses. ewwwww. now that would be nasty!!!
and tsk tsk, don’t those thieves know that this summer’s colors are teal and yellow? not green and pink? haha.
June 5th, 2008 at 9:59 pm
Hello Shauna,
Roadkill? Is that what we are considered to be? All animals should have a proper burial and funeral when we go to heaven. What is the IDOT thinking? They are crazy. I am happy to live Hawaii!
Aloha, Chunky Monkey
June 9th, 2008 at 3:30 pm
you ever watch those TV shows on the most idiotic robbers…..it’s pretty funny in how they can be so stupid! it’s like maybe they’re asking to get caught or something?
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